Tips for Men on Posting an Online Profile

Ladies, I just read this post on Huffington Post about what we don’t want to see in an online dating profile.  Do you agree with the author?  She writes (my comments are in red):

Men: Take a moment to make sure you are not guilty of any these offenses:

1. Pictures of yourself with a dolphin: I don’t really get it. Is it to show a “sense of adventure?” A love of fish?

2. Listing your job as “professional”: Professional WHAT?  [JR comment: Or, even worse, writing “self employed” but not defining what you do as a “self employed” person.]

3. Post only one picture — of a group: I get it! You want us to know ‘I’m a cool guy,’ I have friends! And that’s okay, it gives us an indication of what you like to do, but come on — you need to indicate which one you are. Guess which one is trying to land a date? I DON’T KNOW!  [JR Comment:  So true!]

4. One very distant picture: “Hellllooooooo out there there the th….” I can’t SEE you. Not helpful when I am superficially sussing out people that I could potentially be attracted to!  [JR Comment:  I’m not guilty of this, but I’ve recently realized I’m guilty of only posting face shots.  So, if you can do a close-up, then I can do a full body!  Deal?]

5. Blurry: Come on. You can do better, can’t you?

6. Pictures of yourself with several bimbos: So that’s what you like? Pass. [JR comment:  I really hate these!  Is she an ex, your sister, some bar bimbo?]

7. Shirt off, no face: While it’s good to let a girl imagine, we’d rather not have to imagine your face — put your shirt back on and stop hiding behind your (real or imagined) abdominals.  [JR comment: Amen.  I never respond to these profiles.  I don’t need you to take off your shirt and take a picture.  If we go out and get to the next level, I’ll see if for myself in due time.  Leave something to the imagination!]

8. Only posting self-portraits of the bathroom mirror variety: Get someone to take your freaking picture! Come on, man! If I wanted to date a serial killer, I would get a prison pen pal.

9. Posting arty imagery: I get it. You’re cool. I don’t want to look at what you like to look at. I want to see you. Spare me your awesome sense of aesthetics.

10. No photo: This is of course the worst photo offense one can commit in their online dating profile. Even the least shallow among us, when looking for “the one” online and sifting through thousands of profiles, have at best a four-second window in which we decide whether or not we want to learn more about this person. And the picture is largely what we base it on. No pic/no dice. *see number 4.  [JR comment:  It’s true.  I usually think these are the guys who are married or in relationships so they don’t post their picture because they don’t want to get caught.  If that’s the case, go to AshleyMadison.com!]

 

 

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