He makes $20,000k. Is is wrong that I passed on him?

Got this message today on OKCupid.

“I don’t know how sexy am I. lol I’m an aspiring artist in the country town of XXX. I am an all around nice guy looking for a nice girl.”

I really wanted to cut him some slack and give him a glance.  Granted, not always a great idea to start your message with a downer like “I don’t know if I am sexy” but again, trying to be open minded.

So I started scanning his profile – lots of photos with his daughter – ok, that’s bound to happen with many guys my age – and then I came to his income: less than $20,000.

I want to be open minded, but he has a daughter and is in his 40s.  So, chances are, much of that money goes to supporting his child, and rightfully so.  Without disclosing too much information, I’m going to just politely say that I make more than that.  I don’t need a rich man, but some financial stability & security would be nice.

It reminded me of today’s “Love Letters” in the Boston Globe.  The author stated that he just recently returned to the US after living abroad for a few years..and now he’s living with his folks as he looks for a full-time job.  He asked if he was “dateable.”  The answer is absolutely “yes.”  He’s not sitting on his ass, drinking beer, and watching reality tv 2/47.  He’s ambitious and no doubt he’ll eventually get a job.

So, I will politely delete the guy’s email and move on.  As I keep saying to my friends and family, I enjoy my life so much and if I bring a guy into the mix, he has to add something to my life.

But, the man sounded sweet and I do wish him all the best in life.

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One thought on “He makes $20,000k. Is is wrong that I passed on him?

  1. “I don’t know how sexy am I. lol I’m an aspiring artist in the country town of XXX. I am an all around nice guy looking for a nice girl.”

    I’d pass on him because he can’t proofread, has seemingly poor English skills, and is vague. I can’t put up with dumb and boring.

    And I feel like I shouldn’t be saying shit about others because I myself am underemployed, but you know what? At least I have had some ambition in my life and have worked jobs (including a variety of different positions where I was well-liked and thought to be smart and accomplished) where I made much more money, had health insurance, and I even have a worthless grad degree. People who stay in one job for a long time, particularly ones that they don’t like or are challenged in or are underpaid, deserve the side-eye. Especially by age 40.

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