Gulp. Friends, tomorrow is my birthday. Normally, I am a very “rah rah” birthday person but I’m dreading this one. Why? Because…
I’m turning 38 years old.
Ouch. There, I said it. Out loud. In writing.
I shed a few tears last night when I thought about that (for about 2 seconds, but I like how dramatic it sounds). I think it was prompted by a lot of change going on in my life right now. Leaving my job, buying a condo. Those are a challenging juxtaposition – tearing out roots while planting others.
But I think the tears were slightly more connected to the emotional impact of being single. I recently had lunch with a very wise woman (hello, wise woman!) and she said to me that if I had wanted the “marriage, kids” route, then I would have pursued that. Instead, I’ve focused more on my career. And she’s right. If I had wanted that for myself, I would have put it as a priority and made it happen. There are plenty of wonderful, single men out there looking for that. But, instead, I pursued my career ambitions and to be honest, I do not regret that one bit. I’m proud of my intellectual curiosity, ambition, and thirst for adventure.
With all that said and done, I’d still like to meet someone and commit to him. You know, someone to confide in and share your innermost thoughts. I’m not sure I’ve had that (at least, long term) since my boyfriend from college. And that was about 20 years ago!
I’ve got to turn this around, my friend. I can’t whine and bitch and complain about it and not do anything!
So, I’m getting myself back out there. Speed dating. Online dating. Singles events. And if any of you know someone who might be a good match, I’m always open to a set up.
In the meanwhile, I continue to embrace my life, as always, and love it the way it is.