I was checking my email the other day and I got one of those delightful messages that tells you that someone has sent you a message on OkCupid.
Quickly, before looking at the profile, I read his message. It read:
Hey I love to travel and I could help you change that tire.
My profile mentions my love of travel and how I’m inept at changing tires.
I thought, “Ok, good start.”
Then I glanced at the photo and age.
18 years old.
Gulp. Yikes. I’m 38. I could be his mother. He’s not even old enough to buy me a drink!
And normally, I wouldn’t respond. And I didn’t.
But then he wrote me again.
So, I decided to respond for the sake of my blog with no intentions of meeting him, of course. That’s just gross and too Jerry Springer-like for me.
Our conversation went as follows:
Me: Hi, what do you want with an older woman like me?
Him: Everything you can offer a guy like me.
Me: You’re not even old enough to buy me a drink!
Him: I can give you more than drinks [SS note: What, a ride on his scooter?]
Me: so, I’m a dating blogger & I’d love to write about why you’re interested in a 38 year old. Would you be open to telling me why? I’ll hide your identity.
Him: Only if you tell me things about you that I ask.
Me: As long as I’m comfortable with the questions, I will.
Him: Bra size? [SS Note: ah, yes, he’s where we’re reminded yet again that this is just a kid. No man asks a woman this question.]
Me: I have no clue. I wear European sizes from a specialty store.
Me: Because they’re good quality.
Then he asked me a very inappropriate and dirty question. I cut off the dialogue at that point.
I should have realized this was going to happen, when I later looked at his profile and it read:
The most private thing I’m willing to admit: my dick size
A few days later I told my family, including my 20 year old nephew, about this exchange. My nephew asked if I was going to “tap that.” I told him that it made me grossed out just thinking about it. Then I showed him the guy’s picture. He said I should not meet him.
I think I’ll stick to men my own age who don’t ask me my bra size and have already graduated from college.
But it’s good to know that I still got it. Wink. Wink.