I am no Mrs. Robinson.

I was checking my email the other day and I got one of those delightful messages that tells you that someone has sent you a message on OkCupid.

Quickly, before looking at the profile, I read his message.  It read:

Hey I love to travel and I could help you change that tire.

My profile mentions my love of travel and how I’m inept at changing tires.

I thought, “Ok, good start.”

Then I glanced at the photo and age.

18 years old.

Gulp.  Yikes.  I’m 38.  I could be his mother.  He’s not even old enough to buy me a drink!

And normally, I wouldn’t respond.  And I didn’t.

But then he wrote me again.

Heeeey.

So, I decided to respond for the sake of my blog with no intentions of meeting him, of course.  That’s just gross and too Jerry Springer-like for me.

Our conversation went as follows:

Me: Hi, what do you want with an older woman like me?

Him: Everything you can offer a guy like me.

Me: You’re not even old enough to buy me a drink!

Him:  I can give you more than drinks [SS note:  What, a ride on his scooter?]

Me: so, I’m a dating blogger & I’d love to write about why you’re interested in a 38 year old. Would you be open to telling me why? I’ll hide your identity.

Him: Only if you tell me things about you that I ask.

Me: As long as I’m comfortable with the questions, I will.

Him: Bra size? [SS Note:  ah, yes, he’s where we’re reminded yet again that this is just a kid.  No man asks a woman this question.]

Me: I have no clue. I wear European sizes from a specialty store.

Him: Why?

Me: Because they’re good quality.

Then he asked me a very inappropriate and dirty question.  I cut off the dialogue at that point.

I should have realized this was going to happen, when I later looked at his profile and it read:

The most private thing I’m willing to admit: my dick size

A few days later I told my family, including my 20 year old nephew, about this exchange.  My nephew asked if I was going to “tap that.”  I told him that it made me grossed out just thinking about it.  Then I showed him the guy’s picture.  He said I should not meet him.

I think I’ll stick to men my own age who don’t ask me my bra size and have already graduated from college.

But it’s good to know that I still got it.  Wink. Wink.