Study Shows: Keeping the romance alive makes for a successful relationship

Usually around this time of the night (it’s 11pm), I turn off my Hulu and shut my computer and turn on talk radio or podcasts.  Tonight, I’ve been listening to a very interesting story that aired on On Point (NPR) earlier this week about recently published research on what makes relationships work.

The book, called “The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship,” points out some interesting finds when it comes to relationships.  According to the book and an article on USA Today:

  • 40 % of respondents says they have sex 3-4 times a week
  • 48% of men and 28% of women have fallen in love at first sight.

One of the authors,  Pepper Schwartz (sociologist at the University of Washington in Seattle) said:

We make a big deal of Valentine’s Day because I think people are doing catch-up.  If you look at the happiest couples, they do have date nights. They hold hands. They do PDAs (public displays of affection). That whole package of romance that some couples preserve — that shows how important it is.

On the interview on NPR, Schwartz said that most of the most successful and happiest relationships involve “passionate kissing.”  It’s true, right?  Have you ever heard a friend or even said yourself that kissing is very intimate.  Think about it.  You’re potentially staring into each others eyes and are very close.  It’s intimate.

Listen, you know I’m certainly no expert on love or relationships.  If I was, I’d be a very rich woman.  But I do know feelings and I think this new study makes some excellent points.

Now, readers, go out and plant a big wet one on your partner!  And if you don’t have one, men, I’m available…..

3 thoughts on “Study Shows: Keeping the romance alive makes for a successful relationship

  1. Hi, I really love your blog! I’m contacting you because I’ve written a book entitled Never Marry a Momma’s Boy: and 62 other men to avoid like the plague, and I am hoping to get the word out about my new book! You can guess that this book is about types of men that women should steer clear of at all costs. It is a funny and smart read that I’m really proud of! If you would be interested, I would be thrilled to write a guest blog on your site. Please feel free to contact me at Thank you for your time!
    Susan Conner

  2. I totally KNOW this is true. The kissing part I mean.

    I stopped kissing my bf “passionately” because he had a penchant for really smelly snacks (like Doritos & sesame snaps & salami) – which tasted disgusting second hand.

    Pecks meant a kiss, with having to taste it second hand.

    But slowly it became only pecks, all the time. The issue? A peck isn’t nearly intimate or long enough to allow for the physical “stirring” that a real kiss does… so nothing ever progressed further.

    And once you stop having sex, well… yeah, we’re not together anymore.

    *obvi there is more to this story, but this was definitely part of it.

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