Genuine Fascination for the Aesthetic Appeal of the Rubenesque Splendor

Help me out here.  I got the following message on an online dating site tonight and I’m completely confused by it.  I’ve read it over several times and it was supposed to have been written by a guy who is 49 years old and has a graduate degree.  I think it is safe to assume his master’s is not in English, Journalism, or anything involving writing.

Hola there Ms Gorgeous Fellow Sagittarius, intrigued yet impressed by your looks and profile is Mr. Sagittarius prone to cultivating multiple often esoteric interests/hobbies with rather romantic personality and genuine fascination for the aesthetic appeal of the rubenesque splendor…That being communicated I look forward to hearing from you.

Ok, he is right.  I am a Sagittarius and I appreciate being called “gorgeous.”  Who wouldn’t?  Then we get to the part after the first comma – huh?  I think he is trying to say that he is attracted to Sagittarians, that he has lots of hobbies, and also attracted to curvy women or as he says “rubenesque splendor.”  Or, I could be totally wrong and he meant something completely different!

Then he says “that being communicated….”  Huh?  What did he just communicate?  A clusterfuck of pretentious jibberish that effervescently rolls off the tongue in a very Sagittarian and Rubenesque way.  In other words, what the heck was this guy smoking when he sent me this email?


How you doin'?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s