It’s Saturday night just before 8pm and I’m resting on my bed, contemplating where my life is thus so far. I know, a bit cerebral for a holiday weekend, but such is life. I’m in a very good place in my life – good job, own my own place, great social life – and in general, I’m very content. I have stopped “sweating the small stuff” more and more as I get older, ironically, and have also stopped giving a shit as much about what people think of me. For example, I’ve had a really bad self body image over the last many years, having lost and gained so much weight, but now I’m more at peace and realize that I am who I am and she’s a decent chick.
And if I don’t love myself, then how can anybody else love me?
Speaking of love, when I first launched this blog nearly 2 years ago, I aptly named it “SingleSassy” because I’m single and fairly sassy most of the time. I included a tagline “laughing all the way to love” because I like to write most of my posts as “tongue in cheek” and hope to find love.
Last weekend, for the first time, someone asked me what I would do to the title of my blog if I did meet someone and was off the market. I felt truly blessed when she asked me because it gave me some needed confidence that I will, someday, end up in a relationship – maybe even married – and not remain single for the rest of my adult life. Sometimes I lose hope that that will happen and it is nice to have a gentle reminder now and then. My response? I didn’t know, but would embrace that challenge when it happened!
A friend commented recently that he cannot keep up with all of my suitors and romances because I’m always writing about a different guy on this website. Listen, I ultimately want to end up with one man, but so far, none of them have panned out to be the “one.” I’d be thrilled to stop dating multiple people and commit myself to one person, but in my case, you have to meet a lot of people before you can find the right one. A few of them have meant more to me than others, but it has to be a two-way street. So, until one of them becomes a boyfriend, I need to keep exploring my options.
But truth be told, I’m craving affection and attention.
First dates are so unpleasant, in many ways, because you have to be on your best behavior yet be enough of yourself so he gets a full picture of you. And you’re also not getting the full picture of your date, because he’s also on his best behavior (at least, you hope he is!).
I’m ready to bypass first dates and the stress of “does he like me?” and move onto the love and affection. I always say, girlishly, that I’m craving a best friend. Someone to talk to, confide in, and frankly, love wholeheartedly.
Needed to get this off my chest. Thank you to all of my loyal readers!