It’s Monday night and I just got home from a work-related board meeting. Interesting juxtaposition from just having spent the weekend in my hometown, reliving my high school years at my 20th high school reunion.
I wasn’t very excited about going and that is mostly due to my poor self image. You see, when I was in high school, I was a tiny little thing. Now, not so much….I don’t expect to be as small as I was in high school, but I’m sadly one of those statistics – the girl who got fat. Although all of my friends told me that it doesn’t matter, it matters to me. I’m working on it, but when you struggle with the residual effects of an eating disorder, it is life milestones like reunions that cause a lot of anxiety.
But, I swallowed my pride and went because I wanted to see my wonderful group of friends from high school and they truly made it all worthwhile. I always knew I had great friends, but seeing them all this weekend reaffirmed that, after 20 years, they are all still fabulous. We’re all very different – and there are pockets of people who are closer to each other than others – but as a whole, we are a smart, successful, and fun group of girls! I know many of them read this blog, so I want to personally thank you all for being you, and for making me feel so loved and connected after all of these years.
Then there are the guys. We also hung out with a great group of guys – men, now – who are equally smart, successful, and – may I say – hilarious. I even had a chance to reunite with my high school crush, who has since become a dear friend. Though we haven’t talked in some time, I can quickly see what it was I saw in him all of those years ago. Besides being very handsome, he is just such a lovely person. He really is. If he happens to read this, I want him to know that I chose well in high school! He recently got married to a very lovely woman so I wish them a lifetime of happiness!
The gem of the evening was reuniting with a friend that I haven’t spoken with in almost 20 years. We were really close friends in high school and time just got in between us. But, we’ve now shared text messages and I plan to visit her this spring so we can reconnect on a more meaningful level.
So, yes, I’m glad I went. I’m put on my big girl panties (and spanx) and tried not to obsess over feeling so fat. In general, I do ok with it, but I think this was part of a bigger picture that my reality is not exactly what I envision when it comes to my appearance. It’s called body dysmorphia.
Anyhow, blah blah blah. I’m moving away from the subject at hand and that is my reunion! It was special to reconnect with my friends and that was great. Period!