Taking it Offline

I had an interesting chat tonight with my hair stylist, while getting my awesome red highlights, about online dating.  We both came to the same, sad conclusion:  the majority of people who are on online dating sites aren’t actually interested in taking the dating from “online” to “offline.”

I’d love to see if there is a study out there on the success rate of online dating.  Not your typical study, but a study of people who create profiles who actually go out on a real date. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been contacted for a one-night-fling (no thanks!) or for an endless chat that goes no where (again, no thanks!).

Another friend recently responded to my latest post on Singles Warehouse by stating that if we don’t meet people online, what are we supposed to do – stand at the produce section of the supermarket and just wait?

We’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t!

Online daters: do you take it offline?

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6 thoughts on “Taking it Offline

  1. I don’t know about the produce section. I might be reported for a disturbance if I muse aloud, “Nice melons!” or “Do you prefer your fingerlings brown or white?”

    The dairy section is more apropos because I can be honest why I buy almond milk and not cow milk and not be considered lewd or promiscuous talking about my almonds…

  2. I love your blog…and appreciate your truthful sharing. I want to specifically address this comment [Regarding ‘the majority of people who are on online dating sites aren’t actually interested in taking the dating from “online” to “offline.”]

    Have singles every considered the business and capitalism model of dating sites? They are in business to have members who are not interested in long term relationships or taking the dating off line. Sure, the advertising and marketing promises long term and happy fairy tale connections, but the reality is that the search algorithms for matching you are set up to send you duds and find duds. After all, if all singles were matched perfectly, the dating site would be out of business fast.

    But don’t give up…use the service to your advantage. As a previous user of a dating site, and successfully meeting my husband online, taking our relationship offline, resulting in a lovely 14 years and counting marriage….and a relationship coach by profession…I learned how to use the dating site to my advantage.

    Dating sites make it easy for you to meet people – it is an online meeting place that opens up so much possibility that otherwise may not exist. The formula for using a dating site to your advantage is:
    1) Window shop like nobody’s business…yes, scour through profiles and figure out which ones feel real and good to you. Don’t rely on the dating site search only. Do your own searching.
    2) Be really clear about who you are, and your deal breakers.
    3) Activate and leverage your own bullshit meter. You know when you are being truthful and real or not…likewise, you too know when another person is or is not being real too.
    4) Walk away if any of your deal breakers are present – as early as the first phone conversation
    5) Take the date off line after the 4th or 5th phone conversation. Instead of a dinner date – have coffee or tea at least twice before pursuing a longer more committed date.
    6) Have Fun – you are in control!

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