About a week ago, I had this overwhelming feeling to take a break from Facebook.  I’ve been actively using it everyday – minus a vacation here or there – since it opened up to the public (beyond college students).  So, I waved my metaphorical goodbye and told my friends that if they wanted to reach me, they could find me on email or phone.

I wanted a break for two reasons:

1) I was feeling glum, depressed, lousy, whatever word you want to use for shitty, and was concerned I’d start voicing that online.  Not a good idea!

2) All of the holidays photos of friends and their husbands/wives and kids were annoying me.  My friends and their husbands/wives and their kids were not annoying me, but the happy, smiling faces were annoying me.

Why?

They were reminding me spending the holidays and my birthday – yet again – alone.  See, I wasn’t bothered by being alone this year.  In fact, I was bothered by the fact that I wasn’t bothered by being alone anymore.  I was numb to it and had officially realized that this was my life.

I was alone.  I bought a house alone.   I was planning my birthday alone (with good friends, but no spouse).  I wasn’t cooking and no one was cooking for me.

And I was used to it.  I realized: I’m 39, single, and the reality is – this is my life.

So what does this have to do with Facebook, you ask?

Facebook is a constant reminder of life, couples, relationships, going out, doing, going, being, living, doing, being here, travel, etc.

I needed a break to take in what I had discovered.

I was alone and this was my reality.  And I needed to get to my inner peace with it.

I’m not there yet.  Know why?

Because I haven’t given up hope on finding someone to share my life with.  So there, Facebook.

I still haven’t gone back on it yet.  I don’t really miss it.  Eventually I’ll return.