I just read this interesting article from Forbes about salaries and dating: To share how much you make or keep it a secret: that is the question! There’s always a place on an online dating profile to share your salary information, but it is often a range, and there is usually a place to say “I’d prefer not to say.” This article states that if you don’t cough up the goods, then you get less of a response. It also says that people tend to inflate the size of their salary to make them sound better.
A few months back, I received an email online from a rather attractive 30-something and I didn’t look closely at his profile details, so I responded quickly with a “hello.” Later, after a quick exchange of messages, I noticed that his profile stated that he made less than $20,000. Listen, I live just outside of Boston, MA. You cannot live on that here. So I flat out asked him. “How do you live in Boston on that salary?”
I sheepishly stopped writing. I know, it was shallow, but the reality is: I haven’t made a salary that low since the late 1990s. And I don’t want to have to support him and me.
Is it wrong for me to want to find someone who makes more money? My friends tell me that in my profession, I may be the bread winner. While I do work in the nonprofit world, I work in one of the more lucrative parts of it – fundraising – and it pays decently. It afforded me to buy my own home – thought it’s a struggle on my own – and it would be darned nice to have a two income family.
At this juncture, it’s all heresy and fantasy, as you don’t know what life has in store. I could lose my job, he could lose his job, and then it is all moot, really.
Then there’s the whole – do you love what you do? Do you live to work or work to live? Do you fall in love with an artist who may not make a lot but he cherishes his work and life? Really, what ends up being most valuable?
So, at this point, I struggle with my thoughts on the subject but I usually try to answer honestly on my online dating profiles about my salary range. I don’t inflate it and I don’t lower it. I do admit that I find salaries that are comparable or higher more appealing, but mostly because it makes me feel as thought we’re in the same tax bracket and level of skill.
What are your thoughts on this?
P.S. My ex-boyfriend asked me my credit score on the same night we met. Go figure!