Coming to Peace with Oneself

I’ve been writing this blog for nearly two years, and for the most part, it’s been a tongue in cheek “mockumentary” if you will of online dating, with my own dating life as the central character.

People have asked me time and time again: “What will you do when you meet someone special?” “Will you continue to write if you’re not single?”

I always responded “Of Course” even though the reality is, I have had no clue.  So I’ve alluded to meeting someone recently and so far, it’s going well, but I also want to keep it private and close to me, so that I don’t jinx it or mess it up or say something wrong here on my blog. It’s self-preservation, I think, that you don’t want to ruin what appears to be a good thing. So, I’ll just say that I’m happy to have met someone special who I feel blessed to have in my life.

courageThis, I believe, is the perfect launching point for me to help others in their search for romance and companionship. In my last adventure in teaching “Writing Your Online Dating Profile,” I had 3 students in my class who were either divorced or widowed, and they were ready to start a new chapter in their life as they dive back into the dating pool. I give them so much credit for being brave and rejoining the world of dating after having had many years of love in their lives. Can you imagine starting anew after 35 years of marriage? I admire them for their courage and hope they find love the second time around.

I’ve spent a lot of time lately reviewing online dating profiles of friends and acquaintances, and find so much satisfaction in editing them because having some small part in another person finding love is invigorating.

I’ve often clung to the theory that if you don’t love yourself, then you’re not ready to love another or for another to love you. You have to be at peace with yourself in order to welcome someone else into the fold. One of my clients told me she is just not “in the mood” to do online dating right now, and we’ve officially called off our search for her for now. I can respect that, as I’ve been there before myself. You have to be in the right mindset, I think, to meet someone.

7caMAd4giFor me, I can say that I’ve come to a certain peace of mind when it comes to evaluating myself and, frankly, I’ve stopped beating myself up for the stupid things I say or the uncertainty I’ve felt in certain situations. People aren’t perfect, and at some point, you have to come to terms with this (says the perfectionist).

Coming to peace with oneself is a beautiful thing. You should try it sometime.

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