Vulnerability

At my day job, I am a fundraiser for a super cool nonprofit that supports kids with special needs.  One of the things I love about my job is what we do a lot of reading for professional development.  Most recently, we’ve read Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.  I’ve been really impacted by this book and by Brown’s Ted Talk, which talks about demonstrating our vulnerability.  As a self-proclaimed “people pleaser” and having a classic case of perfectionism, I have had a hard time being vulnerable.  I like to put up walls – especially when it comes to relationships – so I don’t get hurt and stay in the power position.

But, I’ve really been trying to be more open, more vulnerable.

This happened.

DSC_0110-MI was at a local event and met the awesome health editor of Boston Magazine, so I pitched the idea of featuring my recovery from binge eating disorder.  If you recall, I recently lost my therapist, Sherifa, who helped me through the most critical part of my recovery.  I said to my current therapist, “I need to give back. I need to help people like she helped me.”  I like to help others – what can I say?  So, I looked at this article as my eulogy to Sherifa.

I seriously feel completely wide open now.  I don’t know if this comparison is appropriate, but I imagine I might feel like someone who just came out to their family.  There was this huge (pun intended) weight on me and now it is removed.

I feel like I want to soar.  I want to paint, create, write.  I want to cry with joy and pain.

I know eventually things will settle down, but for now, I will enjoy this high.

Now, readers, go out and dare greatly.

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