I had an abnormal mammogram. It was my first one and it came back with what my doctor called a “shadow.” What the heck is a shadow on a boob?
So I had to go to the big bad Breast Center and get another mammogram and an ultrasound. I was nervous but didn’t think too much of it…until I was sitting in the waiting room – stripped from the waste up – and donning a very elegant gown supplied by the nurse. I started shaking a little and a thought went through my head.
What if the test isn’t normal? What if it isn’t good news?
I was sitting there – alone – and realized I didn’t want to receive bad news alone. Suddenly I wanted my mom, one of my friends, anyone who is a comfort in my life. In general, I’m a self-soother, an independent woman. But this struck a nerve.
I got summoned to the room with the big machine that squishes the boobies.
The nurse warned me it would hurt.
When the pain started, I began using breathing techniques I’ve learned to handle anxiety outbursts. I focused on my breath.
By the time I got to my ultrasound, I was calm. The tech commented on how calm I was. The breathing helped. I regained my confidence.
The doctor handed me a sheet with the words “normal mammogram” ticked on it.
Phew.
I walked out of the Breast Center into the sunshine and headed to work.
I was one of the lucky ones.
But what if I wasn’t?
Grateful.
P.S. I wore my “Wonder Woman” underwear today & I firmly believed that helped.
so glad to hear the good news! But, what if it were bad news? You would conquer it with the help of your awesome support system just like everything else!
Thank you! And yes, you’re right. I’m lucky in many ways ❤️