It’s been a tearful week–sometimes joyful, moreso, not. I’m working hard to treat myself kindly and respectfully, but it’s hard to fight the external forces that are cruel and unkind. There is a potential light at the end of this emotional tunnel, but it is somewhat out of my control. The light symbolizes growth, focus, and reprieve from the unkind forces. Unfortunately I’m surrounded by the unkind forces despite my best efforts to leave them behind. I long to leave them behind without looking back.
I blame myself. How did I get here again? And, how can I escape these dark forces?
I have started believing that I don’t deserve to be treated with respect because of these outside forces – you’re not good enough, you don’t work hard enough, you need time for yourself & we don’t accept that.
I am fighting hard against these forces and need to believe I will come out, on the other end, unscathed and at peace.
I am determined.