When the Exhaustion Sets In…

Ever peel off the gel manicure from your nails, even though you know you shouldn’t because your nails get so thin and soft and weak. So, then, you have to cut them shorter or they’ll just get caught on things and tear.

How about doing all of that at 1am?

That was me in the middle of the night. Since I don’t binge eat anymore, I look for other things to keep my mind off of middle-of-the-night thoughts. Usually I play video games on my iPad but I guess something enticed me to pick at my polish. Luckily they don’t look terrible but I wasn’t happy when I looked at my hands this morning.

I raced to my 10:30am donor meeting and got stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on the Mass Pike. We had a nice meeting but then I got to the office and I’ve pretty much been a zombie ever since.

I am dragging myself tonight to Mt Auburn so I can fulfill my last requirement before surgery – one more group session. Dreading it. It’s about meal planning. Ugh. It’s literally checking off a box. All I want to do is sleep.

I just ordered a whole bunch of “bariatric friendly” things online – protein shakes and powders, vitamins, sample packs of fake coffee and hot chocolate, and the like. I need to find things that taste good and give me nutrition post-surgery or I can become malnourished. And my hair can fall out. Certainly my nails will be thin and brittle.

I was supposed to see Mr T tonight but I told him I just don’t have the strength to drive to his place tonight. It sucks – I miss him – but his car is in the shop and my steam has just about run out. Although I’d be surprised if my car didn’t just drive on its own at this point.

Well, I appreciate you allowing me to have this momentary bitch session. I’m sure I’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep!

2 thoughts on “When the Exhaustion Sets In…

  1. Feel better, take care of yourself, and thank you so much for sharing your ups and downs here. You never know who is reading and its so wonderful to know you’re not the only flawed human on the planet. 🙂

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