39 & 44 = Woah

I’m down 39 lbs. I’ll be 44 next week. Deserves a woah.

It’s still a surreal feeling to lose almost 40 lbs in less than 2 months. It contradicts everything I learned when overcoming an eating disorder. “Love your body as it is.” “Don’t lose more than 2 lbs a week.” “You’re more than your weight.” Yes. I agree.

But I will also add in that there is incredible joy when you can easily cross your legs (without having to use your hands to lift up said leg) after not being able to for years. And, there is incredible joy when you can walk up several flights of stairs relatively at the same pace as the people you are hanging out with (and not be out of breath). And, how about that feeling when you can start browsing in any store because you’re (this close) to being out of plus sizes.

I’m carefully balancing right now: I am not depriving myself of my favorite foods and drinks (sipping on a flat white at Starbucks as a write), but I am also aware that if I overdo it, I will regain the weight. It’s a juggling act – be mindful but also be kind to yourself.

It’s been a minute since I wrote so here’s a general life update:

  • Ted and I are still going strong. I met his adorable 9-year-old twin boys. Although it will take some time for them to get used to Dad’s new friend, I think it went ok. Progress!
  • Mom is doing remarkably well. She’s still the strongest person I know. She has a few more rounds of chemo and then she’ll have some reprieve. We all hope this cancer remains a chronic illness and she’ll live a long, happy life!
  • Work remains awesome. Still loving what I do.

Life, overall, is good. I saw a few old friends the other day and they said I looked happy. I am happy. I understand what it is like now when you meet someone and it just “clicks.” I feel so lucky to have met Ted and to have had my weight loss surgery.

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