Ups, ups, and some downs

Today was one of those days that really played upon my emotions. I had some good experiences, like a phone call with a friend and dinner with Ted. I dropped off my bankers checks for the deposit for my new home… As temporary as it may be, and I have a chance to meet the staff who manage the complex where I’m moving. They were a very nice group that said I can come by and visit anytime when I’m feeling lonely working from home! But they were pockets of shitty as well, if I may be so bold.

Without getting into the weeds, I will just say that the gossip mill hit me today, and it reminded me of six grade, when one of the mean girls in my class would decide to gang up on one person each day. I guess today was my day. I have low tolerance for any of that these days. I think once my mom got sick and I met Ted, my perspective on life really changed. I try not to sweat the small stuff the way I used to. I worked really hard to develop a thicker skin, but it’s tough when you’re a sensitive soul. I tend to feel very betrayed when I hear that I may be talked about behind my back. It is my Achilles’ heel… Achilles back? 🙂

Anyhow, I don’t wanna give it any more energy. I’ve vented about it to my mom and Ted, and that should be enough. I will admit that I did get home from dinner and ransacked my disarray of a linen closet for my anti-anxiety pills. I don’t take them very often, but I did decide that I needed to take one tonight to help me get a good nights sleep and not ruminate about things that I really don’t have any control over. What I do have control over is my ability to let it go. Cue the Disney music right now.

So, I said my peace, and now I get to focus on the positive. my new apartment is less than 10 minutes away from Ted’s apartment! People keep asking me why I don’t just move in with Ted. He needs to stay in his apartment because the kids go to school in that town, but he cannot have any pets. So I am moving close to him into a place that allows pets. It will be nice to be nearby! It takes us one step closer to being married. Tonight we looked at our wedding list, which I want to remind everyone is going to be rather small. We are hopeful that will be able to invite guests beyond our immediate family and close friends.

My apartment closing is April 5, and the mortgage contingency for the buyer is March 12, so that is the big day for me to determine if everything is going to go through. We started looking at some houses last weekend just to get a sense of what is out there. A lot more properties are coming on the market now, which is promising. That’s pretty much it for today’s update. I’m heading to New Jersey on Saturday to see my parents for the first time since September, and mom and I will be going to look at wedding dresses on Sunday! Very exciting!

Sidenote: if you notice a lot of typos in my posts, I’m realizing that I’m using a new iPad and I need to retrain it to understand my voice. I usually speak into the iPad to get these thoughts out, so I might miss some of the typos.


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