9/15/21 PM

It’s nearly 10pm. This has been the hardest day for me. I don’t want to get into the details, but it was a tough day.

I’ve been reading my blog posts to mom. She always says I’m a great writer. It’s just the easiest way I can express my thoughts. I’ve been also criticized for over sharing here and to that, I say “please, then kindly stop reading” as this is my blog & I can say whatever I want.

As Ted would say, I’m piss & vinegar tonight. I’m a relatively calm person who doesn’t anger easily but today, I’m angry and frustrated at the world. I’m angry that I was not driving fast enough for that a-hole who sped around me while getting on the GSP. I’m angry at the salesperson who picked his nose – both nostrils – and then wanted to ring up my purchase. I’m angry that I didn’t have a clean pj shirt tonight so I’m wearing a work shirt to sleep. But most of all, I’m angry I have to say goodbye.

Some family has questioned if we’ve done enough. I can’t predict the future. I am just a human stumbling through life like the rest of us. I’d like to think we did all we can. Did we? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I zoomed with my family tonight and R yelled at me to come home again and stormed off. I told him I love him and he’s in my heart, and he said, “no I’m not.” I hate to think of him suffering, but he has his mom & dad there to support him.

I’m counting down until Ted & Louie arrive. Ted and I did a virtual tour of our house for dad, and then we picked out things for him to bring me here. New clothes! Fresh pjs!

We had a visit tonight from my very close family friend whose mom died of Ovarian a few years back – she was mom’s closest friend & like a second mom. He brought over tons of food from Delicious Orchards and chocolates from his mom’s favorite candy shop. So lovely. It was so good to see him. And his wife will be bringing lox & bagels tomorrow to Break the Fast (even if I’m not fasting). Thank you dear friends.

And my kind coworker sent me Venmo for a “treat” so I told her I’ll use it at Carvel. Or, maybe I’ll put it towards dinner with Ted.

Ok. Time to turn off the brain & get some sleep. Until tomorrow.

PS woah, 500+ views since yesterday. Hello world.