A longtime friend asked for a digital copy of an old photo of us, so I spent some time over the last few days looking for it. Tonight, I took a final perusal of my online photos to see if I spotted it, and it took me on a backwards chronological journey of my Facebook photos. I saw my last photos of mom, photos of her sick, and then photos of when she was sick but we had no idea so we thought she was healthy. Let’s be honest – with the amount of cancer in her body – she was likely sick for years before it was officially disagnosed.
My boss’s boss and I had a great meeting this week, and at the end, he asked me how I was doing after the loss of mom. I told him what I always say: we all go through it yet it is such a lonely experience. I got a promotion a few weeks ago, which is wonderful, and I am so happy about it, but the honest truth is that I feel little joy these days. I am going through the motions most of the time. A lot of it has to do with lack of sleep, and I am going for a sleep study in a few weeks to re-diagnose my sleep apnea so I can get support. I know I’ll get excellent care because my medical center oversees the program. We were ranked in the top 25 hospitals this week in the entire USA. Not too shabby.
Despite my decision to leave my MBA program after this semester, I’m still putting in my best effort. I have an A in my Leadership class, and who knows about marketing? My professor hasn’t given any grades yet, but I’ve done all of the assignments so I’m not worried. More importantly, I’m enjoying them both. But I know it’ll be nice to get some of my time back. I have a stack of books to read, a pile of taxes to compile, and endless other things to do around the house, like I have yet to unpack my boxes in the basement. Yikes.
Then again, people in the Ukraine are being attacked by Russia, so I take it all in stride.