May we be inscribed in the book of life.

It’s been a whirlwind week. I drove to Curvy Con – experienced an amazing 2 days with 1,000 of the coolest women on the planet – and then head to NJ to spend Rosh Hashanah with my parents. We didn’t do services this year. To the contrary, mom gets her chemo on Mondays so we spent the day with the oncologist and then at chemo. I stayed for a few hours, and then dad came up to relieve me, so I went back to their place and took a very deep sleep nap. I drove back to MA last night, stopped off at Mr. T’s place for dinner, and then slept in my own bed for the first time in what felt like weeks.

My dad had some “Jewish guilt” about skipping services at his synagogue, but he didn’t want to leave my mom alone, and he said he has a hard time hearing anyhow. I told him that going to services doesn’t make him Jewish. I reminded him that caring for his ailing wife was mitzvah enough. We had some brisket and kugel – provided by a lovely friend of theirs – and we celebrated with an episode of a travel show on Netflix. It felt like the most appropriate way to spend Rosh Hashanah this year.

We started talking about Thanksgiving. Mom said, “I can’t go anywhere.” So I suggested we bring Thanksgiving to her. I think Mr. T will join me in NJ and he even offered to make the turkey! He’s the best.

Talk later!




It’s finally #thecurvycon!

The Curvy Con is a 2-day fashion show, body positive conference, and shopping extravaganza. Hundreds of women & men (maybe?) gather during NYFW to express power to our curves. Of course, I’m going to be losing weight post-surgery but no doubt I’ll be curvy. I’ve been curvy even when thin!

I’ll be blogging during the con and will post videos & pix too!

Day Off

Wow, I really needed today! Our offices were closed so I had time to catch up on things. I got my car inspected and detailed (it’s glistening!). I also went to the gym and met with the head trainer. He’s definitely a kindred spirit. Very smart and patient so he will be a good workout partner.

My bags are packed and in the morning, Mr T & I leave for our adventure in VT. We have dinner reservations at my fave restaurant there, and I’m even squeezing in a massage on Sunday. We have access to a nice spa with our hotel reservation, so I look forward to R&R along with our hike at Emerald Lake. Boots are packed!

In the meanwhile I’m also planning my trip to NYC for CurvyCon! Should be a very fun experience.

I also managed to schedule about 5 donor visits in 2 days next week!

Today was another good day.

Mom is hanging in. She’s been getting IV drips to hydrate her in between chemo visits so I think that helps. But she’s very tired. I seem to catch her when she’s in bed, resting. She keeps herself entertained with “Madame Secretary” on her iPad on Netflix. She’s been sleeping through her visitors. But she gets a full report from Dad. And their lovely friends bring them dinner almost every night. It’s wonderful. Today mom had challah with melted Munster cheese for dinner. Sounds good to me! One day at a time for mom.


October 22

I found out today that my surgery is likely going to be on October 22, as I requested. It’s after my big work event on October 8 and my family birthday party on October 20. Mom’s chemo runs through December so the hope is by Thanksgiving, I can at least travel by car if need be. I did my part in working it around work & family – two things I ❤️!

When I found out the date, a huge emotional wave came across me. It wasn’t nerves or stress. To the contrary, it was pure excitement. The thought of feeling better – be it with my knees or sleep or stomach – was nearly overwhelming to process.

Don’t get me wrong – as I consumed a large glass of delicious Brunello last night, I realized it was one of the last drinks I will have in at least a year. But when I think about sacrificing wine for health, there is no question what outweighs the other.

Mom is doing ok these days. She’s now had 3 rounds of chemo – out of 18 – and she’s eating a bit more as her nausea is subsiding a bit. I bought her some new clothes today for my next visit to her, in about a week and a half. Between now and then, Mr T & I are heading to one of my childhood haunts – Manchester, VT – this weekend, and then I’m off to the Big Apple for CurvyCon!

So, it’s a good day.

PS Thank you to those of you who reach out after reading my posts. I’m not always great at getting right back to you, but trust me when I say your outreach is invaluable.

Calm After the Storm

Yesterday was stormy. I was in a bad mood and couldn’t get out of it. Something felt off. I left my office early, went home, and slept for about 5 hours. It helped me so much. Sometimes you just need to listen to your body.

I woke up this morning to storms. Mr T and I, through texts, agreed that the storms were somehow peaceful, calming. Then I stepped out into it and drove to the office, and it felt far less calming to me. I got to the office early for a meeting; it is amazing how productive one can be after resting.

Mom’s best day of the week is now Tuesdays, the day after chemo when she gets her peppy injection (not a technical term from the FDA). Wednesdays are harder because she has the peppy injection hangover. I need to remind her of this sometimes. And all of you – keep in mind that if you call her on a Wednesday, she may be more lethargic or napping more. But, by the end of the week, she’s usually ok again.

I am so excited that I have no plans this weekend except for dinner with friends. I love spending time with Mr T but I need this weekend to recharge from everything. Next weekend we’re going away for Labor Day and I cannot wait!

It’s funny – I’ve been hearing from people I may not have expected to be so supportive during this tough time, and not hearing from others who I would have expected to hear from. To those of you have been reaching out, thank you. It means so much. I may not always get back to you quickly – sometimes it isn’t the right moment for me – or I can’t switch gears.

I’m not ready for advice or other people’s experiences with bariatric surgery. I’m taking it in in small doses right now. Tonight is a group session at Mt Auburn and honestly, it is the last thing I want to do right now. But I have to attend 3 sessions prior to surgery so right now, it is just checking things off the list. So, for those of you who have offered to give me advice or input, I promise I will reach out when I’m ready. So far I think the surgery will be at the end of October or early November, so I’m just busy checking things off the list – doctors’ appointments, lab tests, group sessions, ordering powdered drinks. The only thing that really helps me through this process is my individual therapy, which is not a requirement for the surgery. We have to meet with the behavioral therapist twice – I’ve already met with him once – but he’s not my talk therapist. She is the one who will really be there for me (besides my family & friends, of course). I’m talking professionally.

Well, my salad is done so my brief break is over. Back to work. Ciao for now!



Immersion Day

I took the day off from work and experienced what Mt Auburn calls “immersion day,” where you spend the day learning everything you’d ever want to know….and more…about bariatric surgery. We heard from the surgeon, behavioral psychologist, dietician, nurse, and from each other – 4 strangers about to embark on a monumental life change.

I still have many tasks ahead prior to surgery: physical with pcp, visit with pulmonary specialist, 3 group sessions, a visit with the nutritionist, a visit with the psychiatrist, blood tests, and more. Tonight I placed an order on amazon for a food scale, measuring spoons/cups, a book on bariatric surgery, protein shakes, and a Where’s Waldo? Book. Ok, the last one is for a 6-year old bday party coming in Sept!

I’m glad I waited to call mom until after the day was over because she had a rough night and had to see the oncologist today. She felt better when we spoke later in the day because she had gotten an IV drip. Still, she wanted to hear about how my day went. I called back again later and filled my dad in on the day. I reminded him how brave & strong he and my mom are in this process.

Today was exciting – for the most part – and it confirmed: I’m ready for the surgery! I’m working hard to have it done at the end of October, before mom’s chemo is done, and after our big campaign event at work. Trying to imagine 2 weeks off from work, staying home because I’m on pain killers, is daunting.

I don’t remember the last time I took 2 weeks off, in a row, from work. I’ve been slowly telling my colleagues that I’m having the surgery so they aren’t caught off guard when they see me in Jan at our next retreat and I’m a bit smaller.

I am also mourning the loss of my wardrobe a bit. It may be larger sizes, but I love the stuff I’ve acquired over the years. But, it’s just stuff. I’ll replace it with more stuff.