39 & 44 = Woah

I’m down 39 lbs. I’ll be 44 next week. Deserves a woah.

It’s still a surreal feeling to lose almost 40 lbs in less than 2 months. It contradicts everything I learned when overcoming an eating disorder. “Love your body as it is.” “Don’t lose more than 2 lbs a week.” “You’re more than your weight.” Yes. I agree.

But I will also add in that there is incredible joy when you can easily cross your legs (without having to use your hands to lift up said leg) after not being able to for years. And, there is incredible joy when you can walk up several flights of stairs relatively at the same pace as the people you are hanging out with (and not be out of breath). And, how about that feeling when you can start browsing in any store because you’re (this close) to being out of plus sizes.

I’m carefully balancing right now: I am not depriving myself of my favorite foods and drinks (sipping on a flat white at Starbucks as a write), but I am also aware that if I overdo it, I will regain the weight. It’s a juggling act – be mindful but also be kind to yourself.

It’s been a minute since I wrote so here’s a general life update:

  • Ted and I are still going strong. I met his adorable 9-year-old twin boys. Although it will take some time for them to get used to Dad’s new friend, I think it went ok. Progress!
  • Mom is doing remarkably well. She’s still the strongest person I know. She has a few more rounds of chemo and then she’ll have some reprieve. We all hope this cancer remains a chronic illness and she’ll live a long, happy life!
  • Work remains awesome. Still loving what I do.

Life, overall, is good. I saw a few old friends the other day and they said I looked happy. I am happy. I understand what it is like now when you meet someone and it just “clicks.” I feel so lucky to have met Ted and to have had my weight loss surgery.

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11/27/18

It’s been a minute since I last wrote. Sometimes I am just uninspired or busy, I guess. I’m prepping for a big board meeting tomorrow but the majority of the planning is done so here I am, writing.

Thanksgiving was great – everyone seemed to get along well with Ted and we enjoyed each other’s company. It was hectic but enjoyable. I’m heading back to NJ over Christmas weekend so I can spend more time with my folks.

Slowly getting back into the groove at work. It’s hard because I’m very tired most of the time, even when I use my CPAP. I’ve lost more than 30 pounds so my body is shrinking and so is my energy! I’m working hard to get in my H2O and protein, but sometimes it’s hard. But overall it is getting a bit easier to adjust to my new stomach!

Not much else to report on so ta ta for now!

‘Twas the night before the night before Thanksgiving

It’s November 20th. My bag is packed for my long car ride to NJ tomorrow with Ted. My dishes are washed and my laundry is put away. What the hell have you done with Joanna??

I’m relaxing by watching one of my favorite shows, Late Night with Seth Myers. I laugh so hard when I watch it.

Today’s greatest joy was mom reporting to me that she drove today – first time since her surgery in June! My parents went to the brand new supermarket near them and picked up a few things for me, upon request, that I can eat.

I came up with my own Thanksgiving meal – turkey with baked sweet potato and my low sugar pudding for dessert. I’ll probably take 2 bites & be full! I got a kids size chili from Panera today and probably ate about 1/8th of it. I’m officially a cheap date! No alcohol and a tiny bit of food.

And that’s all the news that’s fit to blog.

Almost 44

It’s one month until my birthday, and 4 weeks since my surgery. I can’t believe I’ll be 44. Where have the years gone?

It’s almost Thanksgiving. I’m heading to my parents place in NJ with Ted – the parents meet the boyfriend. I’m honestly not nervous because Ted is so easygoing & my parents are nice people. We’ll all get along just fine.

I’ve gotten invited to 4 Chanukah parties this year! I’m going to 3 of them – one is in NJ but I won’t be there. I think the fact that it falls early this year allows us Jews to celebrate it without it getting caught up too much in Christmas. It’s nice not to have to celebrate my birthday & Chanukah at the same time. Plus this year I actually have someone to celebrate it with!

First restaurant outing

I had a real night out last night – movie, then dinner with a friend! We saw Bohemian Rhapsody (which we loved) and then went to Legal Seafood. I ordered salmon, which was probably 7 ounces & I ate 1 ounce of it! But now I have leftovers! It was so good to be out in Boston again. By the way, the Seaport area has exploded! I loved it.

I’ve lost 27 pounds now. It’s crazy! My energy levels have been up and down, but I’m taking myself to Old Navy today to stock up on some inexpensive smaller sizes. I don’t want to invest too heavily since these clothes will need to be donated as some point too.

And excited to see Ted later!

Hope you all had a good weekend.

First Meal!

I had my first post-surgery “meal” today prepared by someone else! I took two halves of a wrap sandwich and pull out the turkey & veggies. I ate about 10% of what everyone else ate, but it felt good to be able to rejoin the world in normalcy.

I made dinner plans for tomorrow – can’t wait to see how that goes!

11/13/18

When I used to talk about overcoming my eating disorder, I used to say “recovery isn’t linear.” Apparently the same goes for recovering from gastric sleeve surgery! I’ve been up and down the past few weeks, and fortunately, today, I made it to my office. It’s good to be back doing work. I’ve been so incredibly weak the last week, likely from not getting enough water or food. I’m literally drinking all day at work in the hopes that it helps.

Mom is status quo. She’s getting rid of most of her clothes because they’re too big, and in return, giving many of them to me for when I get to her former size. It’s all very weird. But she does have some nice stuff!

I’m down about 25 pounds now, I think, maybe a bit more or less. I’m wearing my jeans from 2 summers ago (held onto them just in case) and soon, nothing in my closet, besides the new things I’ve been slowly acquiring, will fit. So weird. I’m donating most of them – selling a few, consigning a few. Again, if you know anyone who might benefit from some (many gently used) plus size clothes, give me a shout. I have a lot of designer jeans that are barely worn.

Ok back to work now!

PS I got a raise and a bonus!